Life a2z

Hello, I'm Amanda. I'm 25, happily married, and TTC. I live in Colorado with my husband Eric and our two cats Lizzie and Rags. I will be going back to college in the fall to be an art teacher. I also work from home and sell paintings on Etsy. This is our journey as we juggle illness, marriage, room mates, looking for our first home, getting pregnant, school, and working.
Recent Tweets @pandapire

violetfemmefatale:

Just finished this #flower #painting and it took me such a long time! #tulip #rose #lily #gazania #art #crafty #canvasvoodoo #acrylic #flowers #flowerbouquet

Good morning!

I didn’t get a chance to write yesterday so I”l just fill you in real quick.

I had a therapist appointment at 1 and it went very well. She gave me quite a few tools to hep me better prepare myself mentally,emotionally, and physically, for Eric’s trip. She also told me to start taking a walk every day along with still doing my yoga and also try walking when I feel panicky. She said the sunlight can help to raise my melatonin and saratonin levels helping me calm down and sleep better. She also told me a few things that were just reassuring like no ones ever died from a panic attack, that maybe my body knows it’s not ready for a baby yet since I’m still trying to work through my anxiety, and we went over some of the worst case scenarios of my anxiousness and a lot of them aren’t that bad.

After my appointment I came home and had lunch and then walked to our leasing office because a package was delivered there while I was gone. It ended up being Eric’s new carry on for his trip so I lugged it all the way back home and ended up painting after that. About an hour in Eric woke up. We ended up painting together the rest of the evening. I did an actual painting and he did his figures. I also made BLTs for dinner and did all the laundry. It was a really nice evening with him and we were able to talk about things like both our trips and what we still need to do to get ready for them. My painting ended up taking me 7+ hours to complete and my back is still killing me! For now I’m off to find some breakfast, hopefully Eric doesn’t sleep in too late today!

Hello again!

I didn’t feel good most of the day but I did end up spring cleaning the living room. I also changed the cats litter, talked to my mom, and watched Doctor Who in the afternoon.

I can’t decide what the heck I want to do now though. I don’t feel like anymore Doctor Who today so I’m trying to decide between reading or heading into the bedroom and playing more Fable.

I’m a little anxious again this evening unfortunately and I’m torn between wanting Eric’s trip to just hurry up and get here and liking that it’s still more than a month away. 

But tonight is Eric’s Friday so I’m looking forward to the next two days with him and I’m just really hoping I don’t have anymore bad/creepy/weird dreams again tonight.

violetfemmefatale:

So I’m going to go on a bit of a rant here:

I said most of what needed to be said in the actual photo but I really have more to say. I find it very sad that people feel the need to go onto others media outlets and write things like this. I do know that this isn’t an extreme case of hate or bullying or anything like that but it is extremely unnecessary. The thing that bothers me the most as that it is another girl saying this to me. Women have to fight every day for their right to be whatever we want and that goes double for the gaming industry. I am not going to sit here and defend myself listing all the games I’ve played and what I think defines a “girl gamer” because I shouldn’t have to. I am sick of seeing fellow woman tear each other down when we should be lifting each other up. Life in general and gaming as well are hard enough without us tearing into each other. I honestly don’t care if people think you can’t be a gamer if your a girl. I don’t care if people think you are only a gamer if you play certain games. To me a gamer is someone who plays video games. Period. End of story.

I guess this is really just a long “why can’t we all just get along post”. But all I’m really trying to say is think before you type and think what you can try to do to make someones day a little brighter rather than feeling the need to bring people down.

Hey again and happy Easter!

I woke up frustrated this morning so you may hear from me multiple times today.

I got woken up 3 times in the night and had really weird dreams. I still don’t feel very good from yesterday and I can’t think of anything I actually want to do today. All I want is coffee and ours is expired as well!

I just feel super frustrated and my day hasn’t even started yet. I can’t decided if I should try and finish my book, start a new video game, or start spring cleaning. I don’t really want to do any of it but I need to do something.

I also still have not started my period. I’ve had all the symptoms for about 4 days and I’m not even spotting yet which is very unusual. I wish it would just hurry up so I can get over the weird dreams, stomach aches, weepies, and irritability! I’m not even late yet or anything but the last few months it had been starting a week early so I don’t even know what’s going on.

violetfemmefatale:

Just finished this #doctorwho #painting! I’m calling it ‘The End of Time’. Whose your favorite #doctor? #tenthdoctor #eleventhdoctor #10 #11 #drwho #tardis #davidtennant #mattsmith #clock #time #ticktock #space #nebula #stars #bowtiesarecool #allonsy #geronimo #art #crafty #nofilter

Hello again! I’m back to tell you about my day.

I got kind of depressed yesterday evening but was feeling a little better before bed. Even though I was exhausted all day when bed time rolled around I wasn’t sleepy. I went to bed kind of late and then had 2 bad dreams. I woke up super early at 9:30 and decided I wasn’t going to spend all day sitting around again. I had breakfast and then painted all morning. I did a cute Doctor Who silhouette that turned out awesome and then I had lunch and put on Doctor Who. I’m making tacos for dinner tonight and then I’m going to shower and fold and put away the laundry after Eric goes to work.

My stomach and head have not been happy with me because we don’t have much low carb for me to eat this week. Eric had to renew his work badge and it cut into our grocery money. I really can’t wait to get back to my diet again.

I’m getting more and more excited about spending time in Denver with my mom. It was scaring me really bad but lately I’ve been doing better.

My period is due any day now and I’m already irritable and having cramps so I wish it would just hurry up already!

I was hoping all day that we would get the actual thunderstorms they were calling for and that it wouldn’t turn into snow and luckily it just started raining. Like real actual rain! I can hear thunder in the distance as well.

violetfemmefatale:

Hey everyone who wanted it, here’s the recipe!

Low carb crust less pizza:

*mozzarella(less than 1 carb per serving)
*your choice of toppings(varies depleting on toppings but most meats are 0 carbs)
*pizza sauce for dipping (optional)(varies by brand, mine was 6.5)

Put a handful (let’s say a cup) of shredded mozzarella in the center of a non stick pan heated to medium heat.
Wait for the cheese to start to bubble and add your toppings in an even layer.
Continue cooking until the edges of the cheese get slightly brown and crispy.
Remove to a plate and let it cool for a few minutes before slicing.
That’s it! Easy peasy!

(via theseedsofhappiness)

Hello again! 

So I woke up at 11 this morning and did all my morning stuff and then I woke Eric up at noon and we had sex. After which we left for Idaho Springs to get Eric’s passport filed. We had to do it there because the office here only does passports on Wednesday’s until 2 and apparently typically leave early. Everything went fine with getting that done.

Then we were starving and decided to stop at McDonald’s for lunch since we only had about $15. We pulled into our parking spot and I was about to get out of the car when the guy next to us starting pulling out. He ended up turning way too wide and completely scraping the passenger side of our car. As soon as he was passed my door I got out to confront him and he just took off! Luckily I got his plate number.

We spent the next hour inside McDonald’s on the phone with the local cops and our insurance company. I stress ate and totally ruined my diet with breaded nuggets and french fries but I am just letting it go. It was a stressful situation and I was hungry. 

When we were done eating we talked to an officer who got all our info to try and find this guy and he told us our insurance probably won’t do anything. We have to submit the photos I took of the damage but we aren’t too concerned with that. It’d be nice if they cover it but our cars pretty beat up anyway we just want this guy caught. He shouldn’t be allowed to treat people like that.

So anyway that was super stressful but we got home about 45 minutes ago and Eric’s back laying down. I’m pretty sure my period is going to start any day now since I’ve been super grumpy lately.

Well that’s been my day. I don’t have plans the rest of the evening so I may just play Fable and lay in bed. It’s a leftover night so I don’t have to cook or anything but I may call my mom. 

Oh I also got coffee today finally! It was delicious!

As I always promise I plan to try to use this blog more. Last month we started making progress on things that really really needed done. I had a doctors appointment with a new doctor who put me on a low carb diet to help control my hypoglycemia and ordered a full work up for me. The week after that I had my full work up as well as a basic female wellness exam. Another week later I got the results and literally everything came back normal. It should have been good news but I was actually quite upset because this means they cannot explain why I get nauseous or dizzy or why I can’t get pregnant. My doctor has referred my to a fertility specialist and we will be making another appointment with her soon to discuss further steps in finding out why I still have nausea and dizziness on a daily basis. 

While all of this was going on I also got into the dentist and found out that I need a few cavities filled and a deep cleaning. We got the lower right quadrant done already but the rest has been put on hold until July.

We also took our car in and found out it needs over $1500 worth of work. We got the front breaks fixed already but again the rest of the car has been put of until July.

The reason for things getting put of is that Eric got an amazing opportunity to go to Ireland with his dad and his sisters. I will be staying here and spending the time in Denver with my mom. He will be gone for two weeks and I am extremely anxious about the entire thing but we will get through it and I’m sure we’ll both have a great time. Everything we’d been working on will resume when he returns.

Other good things that’ve happened are that Eric got a promotion last summer, there are still no signs of my mom’s cancer so her doctor took out her port and said she doesn’t need any more full body scans, and my brother will be visiting in July.

I’m going to try to update on here daily and use this blog to keep accountable on my exercise and low carb. It’s been a bit difficult this week but I am hoping to get back on routine soon.